It's been so long since I have posted. I guess I've tried to stop thinking about it so much.
Does that make me a horrible BirthMother?
R is doing everything in her own now, H is gone. I have a lot of anxiety and anger about that.
H was the one I was so close to, I still don't even understand what happened. But o guess it's not for me to understand. I picked his family, now I just have to continue to trust my choice.
I guess it's ok for me to feel this way, but nothing I can do to change it.
It's just hard.
H did about 99% of the corresponding, so it's been quite a while since I've got anything.
I stopped emailing because I know R is busy, and I don't want her getting any pressure to reach out.
I guess in the end, all I can to is keep them on my heart, thoughts, and prayers.
R is an amazing patent. I know she is doing the best she can.