Entry for February 11, 2007
Well, its been a while, but, as many people know, birth-mothers cant, and really try not to let their lives evolve around the adoption.
But, i have been talking to my sons Momma a lot, she has really been helpfull during the last week or so of my life.
In hopes that the PAP's i talked to read this, i wanted to remind them of something, or share my experience i guess.
I want people to realise that, sometimes, keeping in touch with the birth-mother, or birth-parents is good. Its not always about the adoption, its also about making a connection to people that society views as more normal then us birth-parents.Its hard for us, because a lot of the time, society views us as benieth them, and we want a connection to the "in" crowd. And alot of times, the relationship with our childrens aParents is the best connection we could have.
It helps us to knwo that we ARE people too! We are not baby machines! We are normal people who deserve respect, and smiles just as much as the next person. We stood up when others may not haven been able to, and said "We cannot handle this situation, and we are not willing to let our child go through the pain and siffering they would if i dont go through with this." We are willing to put our children first, even if it means letting this child be someone elses son or daughter.We live every day remembering, but not living for the adoption. I have two other children, and "H" has been halping me in those situations. She drops in a comment here and there about Keaton, and thats great. I love to hear those things. But it has become more of a friendship than anything else. It is like hearing about a friends new baby, not my child that i have lost a connection to. And that is what has made this adoption work so greatly. And i think even if physical visits werent in our plan, the friendship we share, and the way she treats me (as an equal) makes it easier, and it eases the pain.
On a great note, i am SO EXCITED! I'm going to be visiting on the first weekend of March. My birthday is that tuesday, and i have to say, this will be the best birthday present i'll be recieveing this year. Not only do i love seeing Keaton and his sister, but i also enjoy being in the presence of "R" and "H" because they really do treat me as an equal.It easy for me to say, "Uh oh, i think he wants his mommy!" and laugh it off. Because to me, it is funny, and cute. It reminds me of then my best friend, sisiter, aunt, or mom woudl hold my daughter or son, and he woudl start crying. As much as they wanted to comfort them, it was nice to know i was the one they wanted. And knowing that they are Keatons comfort reassures me that i did the right thing. And seeing the happiness in their life grow, makes me proud to have followed Gods plan.
Well, im not sure when i will be back again. Sometimes i want to get on and write, but i have a lot going on. And sometimes, i really dont have much to say other than "Im doing great!".
I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines day!
2007-02-12 02:58:58 GMT
Comments (1 total)
If you are really interested in a supportive forum for birthparents, that supports adoption but understand the sadness and pain that happens after placing, join us at http://www.adoptionfriendly.com/index.php--AFF